I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
