I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
