A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
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Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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