This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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