All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
