I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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