i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
