captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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