Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
