girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
