I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You are a genius and a whore.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
