Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize