I think I died a long time ago.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
