What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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