i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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