Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize