that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
