he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
