There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
