Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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