yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
zippers are such a cool invention
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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