I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also, beer. Big fan.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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