I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
