well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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