So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
