Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
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