i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
