I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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