i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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