giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
