i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
