I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I checked into jail on foursquare
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
