Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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