i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
