Don't you send me to vm
i think my tv is drunk
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
