we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Shame - the story of my life.
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