and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize