You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
