Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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