apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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