Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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