So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
