Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
