i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
