Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
