i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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