Do you still have your period?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
