just tell him i said nine months
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
