Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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