We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
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Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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