Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
