Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize