The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
