Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
