FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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