hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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