I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
