a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
