So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
